Old habits die hard

I never liked that phrase, "Old habits die hard" but it's the first thing that pops in my mind in this house. My apartment in college is a complete trap. Filled with people I can't help but spend the entire day messing around with, surrounded by all those college comforts, its hard to stay focused on my goals. But I must try. I want to be semi-transformed by the end of the semester, and that can only start today.

Step Number THREE

Deep breath...

It's finally time to crack down and learn Tagalog. It's fucking hard to be 20 trying to learn a new language in four months. I should have done this a LONG time ago.

Number Two

It gets harder every day...

Everyone's hurting and sharing the negativity with me. I'm falling under the weight while doing nothing to help

Step Number Two:

Accept that I can't solve everyone's problems. Accept Goodbyes.

Step Numero Uno

Forget about the finances.

She said WHAT?!

Does this mean I'm abandoning my envelope system? Hell no. That system is extremely useful and almost essential if I want to fulfill my goals for this year. What is does mean is that I am going to do is stop foregoing present opportunities just because of some fear that if I don't save $10,000 before graduation, I'll never be able to afford a down payment on a house or buy my trailer or live through the down economy or blah blah blah. It'll be okay. We will survive.

If I learned nothing else from The 4-Hour Workweek, I at least understood that I've been limiting my life so much because of fear, usually fear of embarrassment or disappointment due to failure or fear of its future effects. Major in economics now so that I maybe it will be easier to find a job later; Commute two hours now so that maybe Random House will hire me two years from now; Just make a decision on a career path so my family/professors/strangers will be satisfied; Don't even try going to the gym, you know you'll look ridiculous and you won't be able to get in shape anyway; Forget learning Tagalog because it will be too hard for you and you'll be embarrassed for trying. The list goes on and on and it gets more and more ridiculous.

So, in short, forgetting about my finances does not mean I'll catch every movie at the theater that seems interesting. Does not mean I'll order out every day or buy a new wardrobe next season. It just means that I'm taking a month-long vacation to the Philippines instead of securing an internship and using any extra money I have for other thing I've been putting off for "future financial stability."

The plans we make for our lives tend to falter when it's time to carry them out. So there's not a whole lot I can do besides live in the present.

I don't think I've felt this liberated in over a decade.

Welcome to 2010

Welcome to the 2010s... the decade where, supposedly, everything will change. After all, there's the end of the world to face in just two years, end of my college career, marriage, kids, turning 30... but that's all just speculation.

Let's try and face this year first.

With foreclosures, the breaking of many hearts, and illnesses already revealed, 2010 isn't looking too bright.

Here's to making the best of it.

Resolutions tend to fail, so I'm just trying to get through the year following one simple goal:
Step out of my comfort zone.

Meaning, whenever I catch myself not doing something because it would make me feel uncomfortable, I have to learn to just do it, and adjust mentally so that this experience isn't entirely torturing and instead beneficial. An interesting man once wrote that the key to success is expanding your comfort zone and thus your possibilities, so I'm up for giving it a try.